Need holes dug?

Call Joe Maglio  555-9995

Other services available:

* Leaves pointed at
* Youth sports photography

* Holes filled
* "He said, 'quiet on the set'" sign holder
* Rain puddle eulogies
* I'll silently point at the menu while you order your food

** And coming Spring, 2019 it's the Joe Maglio Mobile Gift Shop.


- Joe Maglio business cards of the past
- Photograph of Joe and heavyweight boxer Moe Jaglio
- Toast pieces, plate from June 26, 2014 breakfast
- Remaining mortgage payments on gift shop

* plus 2 other items


Letter to the sports editor

    I had a long awaited until the coleslaws clear for a salad response, but last loss was the icing on my cape.
    The gobs cantheynot stomp a grounder? Their hitters all the way swing at mist, and the pigeon staff no know where to hold the plate.
    The manager is a wayne passing in his prime, and kenny even right a lineup?
    "Derrickfull", I hear one of the kenny saying.
    Another few moth fly and no freed asian wouldna sign. And if this is howie playing baseball, I don't want a season jacket holder.

Julie  - Candace City

The Billys

In 2015, and then again in 2018, I had the privilege of being a part of the two greatest baseball play-by-play broadcasts of all time.

The following is a greatest hits of those two days.

1. Milwaukee and Wright State played a Horizon League game on March 20, 2015, and though I never got the name of the young man who announced that day for espn3, I called him Billy because he sounded like a Billy:

"A little droobler"
"It's a young season on the year"
"Here comes the sign from catcher, he shakes it off a little bit"
"Welcome back here to this baseball game"
"Hits a ground ball to first place"
"Once again, a first pitch swinging Panthers"
"Nick Unes, now swinging"
"It's gonna be a swing and a mount"
"Zero balls, one strike"
"He's given in two strike outs"
"Two outs in"
"Trying to get his team right back into the bench"
"First pitch of the bat"
"Looked to be a close there call"
"That's an unfortunate event"
"Looks like the catcher is OK here...we'll get right back into action"
[Cough] [Cough] [Cough] "sorry, I had something in my throat"
"Nice job by the catcher to get out of his stance and retrieve that ball"
"Looking for the sign from the coach"
"Looks to be a catcher, number Sean Murphy"
"Murphy will retrieve back to first place"
"The third baseman does a nice job of staying on his feet"
"Ahead in the count zero one"
"Saw the scouts down there with their radar a little excited"
"He has now reached the century mark in pitches as he pitches one hundred"
"Tyler Hermann would be the last man chance"

2. Nearly three years later, on February 20, 2018, Tennessee beat Lipscomb in a non-conference game, and play-by-play man Andy Brock out-Billy'd Billy:

"he's already through the first batters of the Bisons"
"Chinea gave great minutes for the Vols"
"it's fouled directly backwards"
"the newcomer pitcher"
"looking to swing the ball"
"making sure the Vols don't get too into scoring position"
"in their first ever win of the season"
"and the first swing for the Vols is a successful one"
"he is a fan of runners on base"
"couldn't quite collect his stance there"
"a very productive offensive outing"
"Thomas interested in the pitch....did he go around?"
"as the Vols set to take the plate"
[after a second inning strike out] "Zach Daniels looking to make up for that later in the game"
"this man is looking to increase his stats heavily this season"
"he can fly around the paths"
"back in the top of the third, this is a very young game here at Lindsey Nelson Stadium"
"since then Hunley hasn't strucken out anyone"
"letting Hooker walk right onto home"
"Vitello has worked with multiple NBA stars, including Andrew Benintendi of the Boston Redsox"
"Dayton Tripp is settling into this mound"
"you never know what you're going to get night in and night out with Benito, but you know you're going to get firepower"
"a swing and a deep cut"
"Chinea puts a piece on the ball"
"hoping to center one out"
"late in the third quarter"
"to give them a nice six point cushion"
"Tennessee gets across zero in the fourth inning"
"that probably would've been a double or a single in the MLB"
"the bats have been decently consistent"
"he does give off a nice blast"
"a little conference over at the mound"
"they have deemed Adam Stewart's day to be done"
"Dorso's really investigating his runners over there"
"they'll only have one inning to get back this three-run lead"
"one double to his name"
"Vazquez has been dialed in, no one's been really able to face him"
"and the Volunteers take the one game mid week game series"