Daniels vs. Durly III

National Association of Condiment Fighting (NACF) championship match between Kerwin Daniels and Randy Durly - May 24, 2019.

Live blog by staff writer L. Vivian Crugg


6:20 p.m. - Referees meet with competitors to discuss rules and F.C.D. (full condiment disclosure).

Randy decides to go with spicy mustard, ketchup, his Dandy Randy's homemade barbecue sauce and his wild card salad dressing is thousand island.

Kerwin's choices: yellow mustard, mayonnaise and relish and his wild card salad dressing is Italian.

6:24 p.m. - The battle begins with Randy getting a solid spicy mustard shot on Kerwin's left thigh. Kerwin returns the favor by tossing a bag of mayo that explodes on Randy's left foot, good for six points and the early lead.

6:26 p.m. - Randy caught with two slices of rye in his pocket. Two points deducted and he has to forfeit four ounces of thousand island.

Said a visibly frustrated Randy: "I was going to bring whole wheat, but I switched at the last minute."

6:31 p.m. - Randy mixes ketchup and barbecue sauce into a plastic to-go cup and tosses his trademark "Red Hammer". Kerwin thinks he can side-step the cup, but instead gets some on his shoelace. The shoelace contact gives Randy a 17-9 lead.

6:34 p.m. - Kerwin hit with an illegal use of duck sauce penalty.

6:36 p.m. - Feeling desperate, Kerwin breaks out the italian dressing hose, but the plan backfires when Randy blocks the incoming dressing with a garden salad. Randy up 93-36 and pulling away late in the first half.

6:40 p.m. - Kerwin gets two clumps of relish in Randy's left ear for a huge, 20-point swing. Approaching halftime with Randy up 73-56.

6:41 p.m. - An attempt by Randy to push Kerwin into a spicy mustard bath is unsuccessful with three seconds remaining. Randy ahead 76-58 at halftime.

Halftime notes:

* Referees looked at several angles of a replay and noticed a barbecue sauce stain on Kerwin's left shoulder. Extra point awarded to Randy.

* The Worcestershire Choir performed songs from their newest album There are Shallots in your Eye

* Randy's appeal to switch to ranch in the second half is denied

6:59 p.m. - Randy wastes no time in the third quarter, squirting ketchup on Kerwin's shirt to take a 91-60 lead.

7:03 p.m. - Randy falls in a relish trap and sprains his right ankle. Injury time out.

7:07 p.m. - Kerwin pulls the old mustard-sneeze trick, made famous by Herbert Gallego in the late-1940s, and covers Randy for a seven-point hit. But continuing his feast or famine day, mustard water is found dripping down Kerwin's face and the points are taken away. That's two MWV's on the day for Kerwin.

Said Kerwin: "It's frustrating, you know? You spend so much time shaking the bottle, making sure the mustard water is gone and a little bit drips out and all your dreams drip out with it."

7:09 p.m. - The Kerwin Daniels Fan Club shows up towards the end of the third quarter in their salami head dresses.

Fan club president, Lenny Vinson: "We're here for Kerwin. And the to-go plastic silverware/napkin/tiny salt and pepper packet package door prizes."

7:12 p.m. - As time expires in the third, Randy executes a pirouette and somersault, dropping a bowl of thousand island on an unsuspecting Kerwin. Heading to the fourth quarter, Randy in control, up 146-100.

7:14 p.m. - Fourth quarter begins; Randy hit with an illegal use of tabasco sauce penalty point.

7:18 p.m. - Kerwin finally gets a direct hit with his Mayo Grenade and Randy's lead is sliced to 145-120.

7:20 p.m. - Randy has to use another time out after passing out from lettuce exhaustion. Kerwin takes advantage, coming out of the time out with a yellow mustard squirt on Randy's left ankle.

7:23 p.m. - Kerwin with another clutch move, luring Randy into the Den of Pastrami, then blasting him with a garbage can full of relish. Kerwin cuts the deficit to 145-140.

Randy: "I'm not worried. The kid's never been in this situation before. Match is on the line, low on mayo. Be interesting to see how he handles the final few minutes, or as we veterans like to call it The Spice Rack."

7:27 p.m. - Randy somehow throws his spicy mustard ball before it breaks apart. It catches a part of Kerwin's mustache, Kerwin mistakenly swallows the mustard clump (10-point infraction), and Randy takes a 180-165 lead with time running out.

7:32 p.m. - Roast beef found hidden in Kerwin's socks. He's stripped of his mayo hose and the match for Randy is all but sewn up.

7:34 p.m. - In a disturbing end to an eventful condiment fight, Kerwin tries to drown himself in the complimentary russian dressing pool. Referees stop the fight.

Randy Durly wins match, 202-160 and retains the Swiss Cheese Belt
.